Humourously, randomly, PSYCHOTICALLY yours
by Runaway Kid-RK
Summary: It's humourous, random and psychotic. What more could you want? -." Okay, now get reading! And reviewing! Please? (puppy-dog eyes)
1. Chapter One, duh

Dwahahahahah! This is my first story since my old account was de-activated. (glares at the people who reported my story...whoever they are.) It is very random, and WHATEVER.

Dis-this-disclaimer: Yeah yeah. I do not own the Tokyo Mew Mew.

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Once upon a time, the all-powerful authoress (a.k.a. RK) flew down on Santa's sleigh to begin her terrible reign over the wide blue ANIME world. Why was it wide and why was it blue? Because the authoress wanted to have a no-ginger and anti-mustard club. Masaya spotted the sleigh and ran around telling everyone that the aliens were trying to make tomato soup in the sky and everyone decided it was about time that Masaya was put into one of those white padded rooms for violently insane people. So they did. And the all-powerful authoress swept all the eggshells off, the ground, causing Minto and Zakuro to run into a piece of lemon soufflé. Then, Pai decided it would be a good time to find out if candy was indeed an explosive. BUT that's not the point. What the point really is here is that Ryo and Keiichiro were having a DISTURBINGLY good time in the broom closet, and the all-powerful authoress got too much a shock when she tried to return the eggshell-sweeping broom to it, so she banished then to the realm of the chocolate coated lollipops that come alive every White Monday. 

Ichigo: WHAAAAT????

RK: Now, now, Ichigo, you know I'll get reported if you talk in script form like that. And then my fic will get deleted.

Ichigo: I'm counting on it.

RK: Don't be silly. You KNOW you don't know how to count.

Ichigo: (eyes water up) You...you big meanie!!!! (goes off in search of Masaya in his padded playground so they can 'talk')

RK: (sigh) Now that ruined my story.

Kish: Like we care. (rolls eyes)

RK: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-(deep breath)-HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DON'T DO THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kish: (slightly disturbed) Do what?

RK: That!

Kish: WHAT?

RK: THAT!

Kish: WHAT???!!!!

While RK and Kish argue about what and that, Purin decides to go kick some monkey ass and bathe in caramel shampoo. Taruto pounded on the floor in anticipation for his banana split, and Zakuro broke a piece of radioactive metal on Retasu's head, having already gotten out of the lemon soufflé. And just when that piece of fake-moustache-wearing marshmallow jumped out of the shadows in nothing but a polka-dotted bow tie, Masaya escaped from the asylum covered with Ichigo-kiss-marks and started tearing out the black grass with his mouth (Masaya the cow?).

Purin: WHERE'S MY CANDY???????!!!!!!!!!!

RK: What?

Purin: My candy! You said I could have my candy if I went and kicked monkey ass and bathed in caramel shampoo! So I did it! And now I have come back for my pay!

RK: (innocently) I did? No! You must've mistaken me for someone. Besides, I don't have time to stand here and talk to you about candy. I've got a whole fanfic to manage! And-

Purin: -WHO CARES!!!!!!!! I WANT MY CANDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

RK: (creeps off to type the next chapter as Purin has a hissy fit)

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END OF CHAPTER! 

Yeah, I know it was a TITCHY BIT RANDOM, but you know how I am. Don't you? Review and I might just decide to post another chapter as fast as I can. Oh, and give you a whole box of Famous Amos cookies of course...-n.n-.


	2. Chapter Two:The Return Of The Lunatics

Ooh! Thank you so, so much for all your reviews, and I apologize for not updating sooner. Really. Answering review time!

KradsgirlChii: Thanks for the encouragement! And I'm writing now!

KrysOfDeath: Thank you soooo much for reviewing! I'm a big fan of your stories...it's kinda like having one of your fav authors/authoresses comment on your new book. - TY!

Mew Satou: Thanks for the compliment! And, certainly, I'll write more! Good, hai? -.-

Midnight Fruit: Yeah, the script-writing thing is scary. But, hey, I bet there are kajizillions of people out there who write in script form! It's just those unlucky few(like me) who get caught. Sigh. Oh well, I'm glad you find the story funny. Enjoy this chapter!

Daisuke-fan-girl: I guess there's no other word to describe my story huh? (laughs) I like the way you hesitated before thinking up the word. Lol! Thanks for reviewing!

Drunken Vampire(Arianna D): Uh...did ya mean it positively or negatively? (Freak Apple said you found it funny) :)

Kyo's Kitty: Hey, no problem! I'm glad to have made you feel that good! Maybe we can plan a Kyo fangirl club! Haha......wouldn't that be weird! And thanks for your review too! Every review counts!

LordOfTheUnderworld: (flies into a hellish rage) (special effect flames and "Warning! Hell Freezing Over" background and sign appear) WHAT THE &#)!&$&!$)!$(!$)(#$((()!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DON'T CALL KYO STUPID!!!!! HE'S SOOOOOOOO ADORABLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!

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Okay...that was kinda interesting. But now...the feature presentation! Oh wait... I forgot the disclaimer!

Dis-the-claimer: Wait...wait...who IS this claimer? Whoever he or she is, I want to talk to him/her so I can own Fruits Basket (Furu Ba) and Tokyo Mew Mew, cause I DON'T!!!!!!!!!

And now the feature presentation.

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Okay, so where were we? Oh yes! RK was escaping from Purin and her hissy fits.

RK ducked under a mango pudding(is that Purin???) which turned out to be a horse blanket in disguise. O.O

It was so upset it tried to drown her in a pot of melted cheese and hot custard while Ichigo and Purin ganged up to chuck steamed chicken dumplings at her while guppies speared her with an oversized fork and an orange mouse( I actually wrote this before I read Fruits Basket, and find it's a mix of Kyo and Yuki!!!!) threw electric guitars into a vat of purple goo and poured it over her while a hundred Aoyama clones battered her with used tissues and ants threw a heap of surfboards dressed as Bo Peep dolls into a shipfull of sake and washed her mouth with it and pink dinosaurs trampled her pillows and used the stuffing to dig out the springs of her bed and Retasu and Ryo attacked her with evil giant miniature space hamsters and Minto flew around and dropped all her much-loved Matrix-imitation trench coats onto some spears which were hurled at RK by Zakuro.

Confused?

I thought so.

Anyway, the all-powerful authoress screamed and blasted all of them to the four knights of the Round Table.

With a mighty roar, she then picked up her motorized broom and swept up all the continents into one big heap and messed up the whole world.

RK: Oops

Ichigo: (screaming) YES!!! Look what you've done, by blasting me into this crap knight!!!! It takes three hours to get this 'just-out-of-bed' hairdo!!!!!!!! YOU BIAAAAAAATCH!!!!!!

(Ichigo is dragged kicking and screaming away by the handy blue knight)

RK: Ooook...that was interesting...

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END OF CHAPTER!

Wasn't that INTERESTING? And I apologize again for the delay. Gomen-nasai!


	3. Chapter Three: MEAT VISION!

Hey! I'm really happy! Thanks for all the reviews, people. They make me…feel all warm and fuzzy…CHOTTO MATTE! Am I turning into a carpet? O.O Anyway, I will now reply to my reviews.

Dark Moon Sabbath: Yeah, I agree! There's not enough randomness in this world! POWER TO THE RANDOM WRITERS!!!!!

Kisshuluver: And when the jelly rolls come down from Mount Kinabalu, they'll take out their rays guns and fire stingrays at all the rat poison in the world!!!! Muahahahhahahaha…

LordOfTheUnderworld: Umm…yeah, okay. Thanks for the ideas! And it's so cool we'll be going back to MGS again next year! Yessss!

Daisuke-fan-gurl: I do agree with the anti-cheerleaders bit. DOWN WITH THE CHEERLEADERS! Maybe we can start a riot! Yes, yes! Riots are so fun! Where everyone's holding up signs and clomping down roads and waving banners! Hmmm, let's schedule one some time…

chaos,panic,anddistructio: (hands you cookies) Enjoy! And let the randomness begin!

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Masaya Aoyama woke up in a strange bed. It was obviously not his, because it was strange. And his bed was not strange. He also found that there was someone sleeping beside him. So he turned to look at the someone.

"Hey, that looks just like Kish the alien!" He said, in obvious stupidity. The Kish-lookalike woke up.

"What the hell are you doing in my bed, you asshole?!" he exclaimed.

"Hee hee, you TALK like Kish too. If I didn't know better, I'd say that you WERE Kish!" Masaya giggled like the idiot he was. Suddenly, the all-powerful authoress came crashing through the ceiling on a giant heart-shaped balloon.

"I'm from the Exterminating Idiots Society!" she yelled into a giant, ant-covered lollipop that appeared out of nowhere.

"I'm here to exterminate this idiot here! So Kish, you get lost. I'm going to zap him with my almighty MEAT VISION!" she screamed. Kish backed into a corner while RK focused on Masaya, who was busily splitting the ends of his shirt.

"Shouldn't it be HEAT vision?" Kish asked.

"Shut up and watch," the authoress replied rudely, and zapped Masaya. In a puff of smoke and a crackle of burnt flesh, there was no sign of Masaya except a small sausage where he'd been standing.

"There," the authoress said smugly, and picked the sausage up, put it in a bun and flew out of the hole in the ceiling on her magical mystical microwave.

(Ichigo's house)

There was a knock on Ichigo's door. Being the happy, perky, disgustingly cute, good, little, dumb girl she was, she skipped to the door and flung it open in her happy, perky, disgustingly cute, good, little, dumb way, and trilled, "Welcome to my house!" It appeared to be a hot-dog seller, although the seller's fake mustache, wig and oversized disguise trench coat didn't look very authentic.

"Hello, miss, would you like to have a hot dog for free? It's VERY special," the seller said, in a rather muffled voice. Ichigo wasn't hungry, but since she was a dumb little preppy girl with a very short skirt and a very small brain, she accepted the hot dog, and ate it.

"Yum, it tastes like Masaya! I remember it from the last time I bit him by accident when we were having FUN," she squealed.

Outside, the hot dog seller threw off her disguise and turned out to be (who else?) the all-powerful authoress-standing on top of Zakuro to make herself taller.

"Mission accomplished!" she said triumphantly, with an evil cackle, while Zakuro looked bored, put RK on the ground and sauntered off.

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END OF CHAPTER 

Well, it wasn't very random, but at least it had a LITTLE insanity in it. And insanity and randomness are very similar! And Daisuke-fan-gurl, don't forget about our riot! Review so we can discuss it, hai?


	4. Chapter Four: Ichigo's Futile Revenge 1

Firstly, I would like to tell all my faithful and VALUABLE reviewers that I am SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO sorry for not updating in such a long time. I mean, really, it's been what, months since I last updated? (dies) Well, here is my long-due chapter. Enjoy.

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After a really long long long while, Ichigo finally realized that she had eaten her 'true love' (authoress throws up behind a screen so as to not gross people out) she couldn't stop sobbing heartbrokenly into a large handkerchief Tart provided her with(and she repaid him with candy. You know how he is about candy…).  
But then, after a LONG LONG while, she realized that her mission now was to wreak havoc upon the cruel person who killed her Masaya 'darling'…namely, the all-powerful authoress who tricked her into eating a hot dog made of Masaya and she was too stupid to recognize the funny Masaya taste.  
So one day, out of the blue, when she had a particularly rough day (random bird pooped in her hair, tripped over a blade of grass lying harmlessly on the road and was told repeatedly that she was stupid and why doesn't she just curl up in some corner and die by a strange, RK-sounding voice in her head), she put on her supposedly slinky neon pink catsuit and launched herself onto the roof of RK's home. After breaking a heel and a fingernail as well -oh the horror!!!!!- she finally stopped rolling and ended up in front of the roof access door. She threw it open with gleeful joy and bliss at finding the door so easily (it is obvious to a normal person that she is so stupid), and found herself facing a few dozen pleasant-looking guns. All of which were pointed at her.  
"Freeze," said a mechanical-sounding tone, and she did. Only when she raised her hands up BEHIND her head, she knocked a large red button on the wall behind her. The floor opened up below her and she fell into a large chamber, hurting her poor, delicate rear cruelly in the process.

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That's all for today…(my mom is watching me type). PLEASE REVIEW!!!!! By the way, I am not ending this chapter here, there will be a part two, okay? . 


	5. Chapter Five: Ichigo's Futile Revenge 2

And the madness continues…

Tala'sgrl: Yes, I think I will. (apparently does not notice that she is writing more right now)

Enjie Yekcam: AMME MOTO!!!!! YOU HAVEN'T UPDATED FOR SOOOO LONG!!!! Well…I think you did, but it was only ONE CHAPTER!!!!!!! WRITE MORE I TELL YA!!!!! And EJ: I agree! Plus, I got lost in the depths of my cardboard pet once…(cries)

Lorien Moore: Yes, Fruits Basket is DEFINITELY the best manga and anime for miles and miles and millenniums around! (slams fist on table in order to strengthen and exaggerate her point) Oh, and Kyo is hot too. .

Dark Moon Sabbath: (grins) (hands you a pleasant-looking gun as a souvenir)

Kerichi: I don't think they sell ginger snaps in the country in which I reside. I always wanted to know what they actually were. Hmm…And yay for Furu Ba indeed!

Well, I have addressed all my lovely reviewers, so I can begin without feeling guilt knocking me on the head and reminding me to address them. (relaxes)

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Ichigo did not dwell upon her wounded ass for long, as she was picked up by a large chocolate cake and smashed into a few drops of sea water from the Pacific ocean, the Atlantic ocean and the Indian ocean (notice how the first letters of the various oceans spell 'PAI'? Drunken Vampire found that out when we were having our geography lessons). Then RK appeared, hovering above the Abyss Of Shadows that happened to be situated just below her.

Ichigo miraculously remembered what she had come to RK's home for, and recklessly lunged over to her. Too bad the floating RK was just a hologram, controlled by the real RK somewhere hidden from view. So Ichigo found herself falling into the deep dark Abyss Of Shadows. When she stopped falling, she was in total darkness, and the only sound she heard was a creepy evil RK laugh echoing throughout the entire Abyss.

Suddenly, the sound of a match being struck rang out in the darkness, and Ichigo turned to look behind her…to find the face of RK, holding the flaming match underneath her chin and therefore looking very scary indeed, especially since her hair was all messy and wild and covering parts of her face, and she had rolled her eyes upwards, so all that could be seen were the whites of her eyes. There was a long silence.

Then Ichigo broke it by screaming hysterically and running away from RK in terror (delayed reaction?). She found a tunnel, and ran through it in a panic. There were some lit torches along the length of the tunnel, so she could see her way as she fell over perfectly visible rocks and stuff. After a while, she was convinced that RK was not following her, so she sat down on a rock. All was quiet. Too quiet. Was that a rumbling sound in the distance? Ichigo could tell. Then she heard the rumbling sound again. It was closer this time. Suddenly, a random fruits basket came out of nowhere drifted towards her at top speed! She dodged it, and felt proud as she watched it hurtle away, carried by its own momentum.

But suddenly, the fruits basket spanned throughout the distance of eternity, therefore making it impossible to dodge as it came hurtling back towards Ichigo at top speed, squashing her quite flat. She sat u p groggily, just in time to see that fruits basket fly out the tunnel, dropping apples, strawberries, bananas, oranges and all the rest as it flew. And although there was no one there, Ichigo heard a voice whisper in her ear, "This is what happens when you mess with the almighty authoress. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! AND YOU WILL BE PUNISHED ANYWAY!"

Instantly, she was teleported to the land of Kish-ness, where there was nothing to eat but quiche, nothing to drink but Kish-essence and the only activities she was permitted to do were hug Kish, kiss Kish, touch Kish, do naughty things with Kish and other Kish-related stuff.

Moral of this story: Never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, EVER mess with the almighty authoress. Oh, and don't mess with electrical appliances with wet hands either. It's just not healthy. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!!!

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END OF CHAPTER!

Fwahahahahhahahahahaha! XD I love this chapter for some reason!


	6. Chapter Six: From the desk of RK: Part O...

HAH! Yours truly is finally updating! (bows like Ayame, with a flourish of the hand) (reviewers beat her up with frying pans and chocolate eggs and stuff for not updating sooner) I'm sorry! I'm sorry! (cowers) I didn't mean it!

And now it is time to address my reviewers. (rubs head tentatively)

Amme Moto: (feels sad) Ummm…if I give you full custody of my Kish voodoo doll, will you update? (eyes shine hopefully)

Dark Moon Sabbath: Yes, the land of Kish-ness! Where all is Kish and…Kishy.

Kyo's Kitty: I, too, have been faithfully reviewing your stories! (grins) I reviewed for your latest chapters too! (is happy)

And all of you get many, many, many pieces of edible money.

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With Ichigo and Masaya Aoyama out of the way, you'd think there wouldn't be any more problems right? But no. Everyone-get this- MISSED Ichigo! And the authoress sat at her desk, fingers entwined together, listening to the complaints of the other 4 Mew Mews. Let us listen to their conversation (wink).

RK: Next up, Minto Aizawa.

Minto: (storms up to RK) WELL! I HAVE MANY, MANY THINGS TO COMPLAIN ABOUT! Firstly, there's too much sand on the beach! Secondly, this table is made out of second-class wood! Which is bad! Thirdly, you have taken away Ichigo! That is good! But you have not made me, the attractive, beautiful, polite, well-mannered, awesome Minto, the main character! That is bad! (rants on and on, including complaints about how the sky has too much hair and stuff)

RK: (picks up a walkie-talkie) Secuuuuuuuuuurity…

(The security dudes burst in, and haul the never-shutting-up Minto away from her office)

RK: Ahhhh…peace and-

Purin: I'm HEEEEEEERE! Na no da!

RK: (groans) State your business, if not get the hell out of this place!

Purin: I brought Sis Zakuro! (points to Zakuro)

Zakuro: (sits, and starts to file her nails) -

Purin: I want to complain about how you took Big Sis Ichigo away! She was so nice, and kind, and cute, and all that! WHY'D YA HAVE TO TAKE HER AWAY FROM ME! (jumps onto RK's table) I'm all alooooooooone…no one here beside me…..

Random pen: I'M HERE!

RK: O.O

Purin��WHAT! I'Cp>Zakuro: (still filing her nails)

Purin: Now she's goooooooooone, my life's gone wroooooooooooong, and there's ice inside my heeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaart!

RK: (covering her ears) SPARE ME! (zaps Purin, and she turns into a real monkey)

Purin the monkey: (runs out of door)

RK: Thank GOD. Now, Zakuro, do YOU have any complaints?

Zakuro: (actually looks up for a while) Well…I do have a something to say. It is private. May I close the door?

RK: (is taken aback) Why, s-sure, Zakuro…(the door obligingly closes)

Zakuro: (sits in front of RK and is silent for a while)

RK: …

Zakuro: (is silent)

RK: …

Zakuro: (is silent)

RK: …

Zakuro: (screeches) I LOVED HIM!

R: (BADUMP! BADUMP! goes her rather startled heart)

Zakuro: (shiny teary eyes) I've always loved Masaya! AND YOU TURNED HIM INTO A SAUSAGE! (clutches heart) I've always wanted to-(is cut off by her cell phone ringing) (picks it up) Yes? …WHAT! I've been learning the wrong script? And I'm in the wrong scene? You mean this is Ichigo's part? …But she's missing! …Oh fine. I'll meet you in the café in a minute. (swiftly stalks out the door)

RK: OO

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TO BE CONTINUED…

Well! That was invigorating! I know it wasn't really all that funny, but it's quite good, considering how I haven't been writing much…I feel like a junior writer again…(is unhappy) (perks up) ANYWAY! Review, and you'll get a Kishland playset with an Ichigo doll! COMPLETELY FREE OF CHARGE! Terms and conditions apply. If you don't…I'll come to your house, throw you over a desk, and let some dogs yell at you for a looooooong time. So there.


End file.
